


Softly Now

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Insult Kink, Orgasm Denial, Sadism, Switching, praise etc idk, slight BDSM, transference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 03:18:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11432040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Do you love me?” Yellow’d whisper. Or she’d say, “I really love you.” And in spite of the way it made her chest ache, Blue would look at her, bemused. Was that what she called it?--They learn to work with it, for the most part. Begins pre-Trial and ends immediately after, another hot take on their relationship.





	Softly Now

**Author's Note:**

> This ended up angstier than expected. It was super stressful to edit and may be a bit disjointed. It's mostly based off of some headcanons that formed from Yellow freaking out in the BG during Blue's statements, also my urge to see Blue hurt Yellow back even though she doesn't seem to do too much in canon to justify an extreme response... 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

  
There was something so wrong about being needed by another gem. Sure, everyone of their rank deserved some attention and praise. But like this?

The first time they fucked, it was, well, malicious. Whether or not it set the stage for their entire so-called relationship… Blue Zircon didn’t know. Yellow definitely didn’t. There was some type of power struggle, maybe, but who knew who was winning. 

Blue was prepping for her upcoming trial, all evidence pointing toward an easy defense, when the door opened. She only had a few minutes before she’d be meeting with the gem she was to defend, and the trial would start soon after, so she was shocked to see the prosecuting zircon for this case, a yellow gem a few years her superior, enter the room. 

“The trial will start soon,” Blue said, swiping through files to ensure she hadn’t missed any evidence. She was familiar with this gem, skilled in the courtroom but clearly impressed with the other’s defense skills; she knew she was only there to insult and mock her, either to get her off her game or fulfill her false sense of superiority. In the courtroom at least, Blue would have the upper hand.  
  
Blue continued to review evidence, well aware that she would soon be called to meet the defendant. “Then you’d better hurry,” Yellow said, her voice oddly low. Blue glanced up and did a double take, realizing the other zircon had phased away her undersuit. Her gem was glowing and she was stroking a large cock, her eyes fixed on the now extremely nervous gem.  
  
“W-Whaa- I- we- we can’t!” she managed, extremely aware that her gem was glowing as well and that, well. Yellow was hot.

The yellow zircon laughed lightly and said, “Come on, just phase a hole and let’s do this. We both know you need it. Or…?” She strode over to the blue gem quickly, more aggressive but just as light and sure as usual. Blue couldn’t help but stare at her exposed cock (fuck) then back at her face (fuck?).  
  
Yellow forced her to her knees. Eyelevel with Yellow’s dick, the whole situation started to seem rather plausible to Blue. They both inhaled as Blue wrapped her hands around Yellow Zircon’s thighs. Smirking at the look in the blue gem’s eyes, Yellow said, “Oh, this could work,” as she grabbed her cock once more and rubbed it across the defense attorney’s mouth.

“Suck.”  
  
Almost instantaneously, Blue opened her mouth to press her tongue against the silky flesh of her rival’s cockhead. It was soft and strangely warm, already dripping with a translucent yellow precum. Yellow let out a moan, which was loud and somewhat embarrassing for the gem on her knees to hear, before shoving her cock hard down the other zircon’s throat. While Blue made a panicked noise, unused to the discomfort and pressure, Yellow held her head in place and started skull fucking her.

Somewhere through process of hearing the prosecutor moan and gasp while she brutalized her throat, Blue had ended up phasing herself a hole, desperate for attention. It was pulsating and dripping, flushed a dark blue under her clothes, and her long fingers now prodded at it and rubbed over the entrance. “Aha!” Yellow exclaimed when she saw what Blue was doing. “You want me to fill you good, baby?” her typical mocking tone, breathier and deeper than usual. 

Blue tried to scoff, which came out more like she was choking on the other gem’s dick, but wordlessly phased away her clothes. Yellow smirked, thrusting her hips a couple more times into Blue’s mouth.

With a strong air of superiority, Yellow pushed Blue back and stroked herself casually while she examined the hole Blue made (for her). She kept one hand on the dick, the other pushing a couple fingers into the zircon’s tight, slick hole. “Pretty nice,” she said. Blue let out a moan, her throat sore and the sensation of Yellow inside her, plus the sight of her counterpart’s dark, large pupils making her needier.

“But can you handle _me?_ ” Yellow asked, smirking again as she phased her cock longer and wider.

“Just put it in,” Blue spat out, hoping the shake in her voice and dark flush across her face would go unnoticed. They didn’t. The other zircon leered at her, smug and self-satisfied as she knelt over the gem, one hand on her cock and the other roughly grabbing at Blue’s chest. It barely even felt good.

“I always thought you would put up more of a fight, cutie,” she said as she lined up her dickhead with Blue’s opening. _It’s bad enough that she’s better than me at everything, now she’s humiliating me like this,_ Blue grumpily thought, glowering up at Yellow, who had an unfamiliar, but not unkind, look in her eye. “Ready?”

She was a bit taken aback. Blue blinked, shifting a little on the hard floor. Would she ever be ready? Would the hole she phased feel good? She reassessed. Would it be big enough?

“Ready?” Yellow repeated.

Blue covered her face and gritted out, “Just do it.” She felt Yellow shift a little, and she yelled, “Stop teasing me already!” 

Yellow whimpered. _What?_ There was a pause as she seemed to compose herself, and Blue stared at her. Finally, she seemed ready, a familiar smirk on her face as she stared back. There was something soft about it, though, and Blue flushed as she squirmed on the floor.

“You look so beautiful,” Yellow breathed, and pressed in.

 _What?_ Again, Blue’s mind went blank, just a touch of panic, but she was grounded rather quickly by the pain of Yellow’s cock beginning to fill her.

With both of her hands on Blue’s narrow hips and an expression of utmost concentration, Yellow looked rather beautiful as well, Blue thought, begrudgingly and extremely privately. She went back to hiding her face, this time with her arm. Why did they have to be facing each other?

Yellow was strong, and powerful, and smart. She always had the capacity to make Blue’s mind go blank with fear, or anger, or well, in this case… pleasure, overwhelming, all-encompassing, the noises she was making, the expression on her face when Blue was brave enough to look, the _sensation_ … it was too much. And was she really loving it? Loving fucking Blue? Blue certainly enjoyed this.

She ventured a question. “U-Um…” Yellow had built up quite a pace now, but had locked eyes with her. “I-is it o-kay?” Yellow’s thrusts faltered.  
  
“What?”

“D-Do I feel good?” Blue asked, aware she sounded ridiculous.  
  
The other zircon snorted, but instead of mocking the defense attorney, she kissed her forehead, saying breathily, “You have no idea.”

“U-um… You feel a-amazing,” Blue said, embarrassed again by one of Yellow’s loud moans. It was true, though, the way Yellow filled her was better than she could ever have imagined. Not that she had imagined.

The gem fucked her hard, until her hips began to stutter and she gasped, bending lower over the blue gem to kiss her and pant heavily on her face. “I love you.” Then: “I’m gonna come, Zircon.” A notice flashed across her monocle that it was time for her to seek out her gem. Great.  
  
Blue Zircon turned her head and closed her eyes before needlessly whispering, “I haven’t yet.”

As if that mattered right now. _Fuck_. Yellow blew her load, hard, and once she was done gasping, she and got up, slightly wobbly. _Fuck. You fucking asshole._

 _Fuck, of course._ “W-Wait! Yellow, please…” 

“It’s probably for the best, your trial is about to start.” She laughed, smug, her eyes roving over Blue on the floor, panting and leaking her rival’s cum. Yellow’s cock disappeared and she closed her eyes as her clothing rematerialized. “Better clean yourself up soon, though!”

Ohh, she was good.

\--

Things were evolving, kind of. And escalating. Blue was a mess every time they saw each other in public, the way Yellow acted practically ruined her, but the moments they had together in private were a stark contrast. It was confusing, but far from bad. She kind of wished things could be clearer, that Yellow could dictate what she wanted and why. Sometimes it was hard to tell if Yellow hated Blue or loved her.

Yellow enjoyed it all, whatever what was happening. She seemed to really want Blue, as far as Blue could tell, when it was just the two of them, and that was bizarre. It wasn’t like their bodies had to be shoved together for them to get along, sometimes Yellow would come to Blue’s chamber and sit, staring at her while she worked. She’d give Blue space, but practically cry if Blue would say something nice to her or just rest a hand on her. 

At first, it was like they were coming to terms with the fact that in spite of everything, it was easy to be sweet with each other. Yellow loved kissing Blue, who was almost always shaky and nervous and sweating and shy with her at the beginning. But there was something emboldening about the way Yellow acted, touching and mouthing at her entire form and worshipping her, almost, the way she complimented her and stared at her body like it was something special. Blue would always react with a touch of shock when Yellow begged Blue to sit on her face or fuck her, but most of all just to touch her at all; she was so needy, and Blue barely knew how to handle it at first.

Yellow was happy with anything when she was desperate. It was kind of pitiful how needy she could be. She always seemed overjoyed and maybe a little drunk with awe, just from small things like kissing Blue’s forehead or jaw, clawing at her crotch or her clothed chest under her vest, fucking her slowly from behind while uncharacteristically showing her with compliments, or riding her, staring into her eyes and smiling while she held Blue’s hands to her chest or face. It was bizarre, out of character, and to Blue, it seemed like she was never satisfied. And maybe it was the same for herself, all the two of them wanted was more and more the longer it went out.

Touching wasn’t enough, really. Eventually, Blue seemed to demand things from Yellow that she was more happy to give, a large contrast from fucking just to get off and barely asking what the other wanted. But there were more changes, too. There was something so lovely about the way they touched each other, even if it was indelicate. Sometimes they even said kind things to each other. Maybe not intentionally, but still. Privately, they both loved it.

Blue loved everything about Yellow, the way she treated her, the way she really seemed to secretly care for her. It was so genuine, and raw, and unexpected. They grabbed at each other in empty rooms, kissing and fucking at every opportunity. They showered each other with affection and gentle words. The zircons were perfect for each other, two perfectly interlocking puzzle pieces. They loved each other, and they had each other when any other gem of their kind should have no one. And they worked hard, so hard, to keep it that way, to protect what they had.

It was working. And it felt really good, most of the time, too good. They were _together_. But it was just as easy to pull it apart and fear for whatever would come of it. It was too difficult to be truly comfortable with whatever it was. Love? It was nonsense. Two gems, from a different court? Two zircons, needlessly doing… this?

Sure, most of the time, to Blue, Yellow just seemed like she needed something and Blue was there to give it. “Zircon,” she’d say, pulling the gem aside or coming into her quarters at the usual time, then she’d tell her what she wanted. And Blue liked it, but it was even better when they fucked and her Yellow was desperate and needy, grabbing at everything wordlessly before uncharacteristically whimpering for the Blue, asking or even _begging_ , for permission. Yellow didn’t care what Blue did, really, most of the time she was more than happy just to get to touch her and hear her voice, but some of the things she did really drove Blue crazy in a way she didn’t think possible.

It went on like that for decades. Surely, Yellow was interested in Blue more than they could have ever expected, she engaged with her at nearly every opportunity; before and after every trial, passing in the hallways, even during a trial, everything she did around Blue seemed to be with the intent of eliciting a response.

She seemed intent on exploring and memorizing every aspect of defense attorney’s physical form and mind, knowing not only how to tumble her rocks at every occasion but also how to make the gem unwind completely if given the opportunity. _What a fucking contrast from every other aspect of her life,_ Blue often reflected, staring at her and remembering how scary hot and sweet she was. She was so oriented around Blue, and so good at pleasing her, it almost scared her, and Yellow knew what made her weak, what caught Blue off guard. The things she’d do in bed, and the face she’d make at Blue’s reactions, part satisfied and part blissful _._

Sometimes the things she said were almost more for her than for Blue, she seemed to relish in being unfiltered around the other gem more than even winning a case or pleasing her diamond.

“Do you love me?” she’d whisper. Or she’d say, “I really love you.” And in spite of the way it made her chest ache, Blue would look at her, bemused. Was that what she called it?

She was like a different gem entirely in private. Yellow was cruel and sarcastic in the hallways, spotting Blue from far away and using that as an excuse to get Blue frustrated and embarrassed. In court, it was almost like she was trying to bait Blue and push her into some time of response, but the next time they saw each other, she’d be crying and grabbing at the defense attorney, telling her how amazing she was, what a great point she made during the trial or something silly like that, while the two of them ground against each other.

Yellow enjoyed the reverse even more, possibly. Blue could say how disappointing it was when Yellow said something mean, or insult even her back (having spent hours thinking of the perfect retort), and Yellow would cry, but wordlessly rub against Blue harder, frantic and needy. Maybe it was messed up, but it felt good. When they fucked, Yellow would beg Blue to be rough and tell her how good she was while Blue literally tore her form, uncomfortable and in love all at one with the noises and words coming out of Yellow, her erratic, desperate movements, and the tears in her eyes.  
  
Blue liked hurting her, really hurting her, and feeling and seeing and hearing how much she loved it. And Yellow loved it, she got off on usefulness, on bleeding for Blue. On crying, and on the way Blue looked while she made Yellow cry.  
  
But it was good, it was all good. They knew how to give each other what they wanted, even wordlessly. They were good at it, they made it work. And by the next trial, no one else would be able to tell, thank stars.

\--

Something changed. Over time, maybe a bit of affection started to develop between the gems. Yellow was needy, and Blue found herself providing for her in more and more ways. And Yellow began to be protective of her, quick to try to ease any emotional and psychical needs of hers. It was difficult for Blue to make sense of at first, but Yellow really did seem to care about her.

In public, they were both paranoid about being found out, so they were quick to perform as rivals. Maybe Yellow played it up too much, and Blue too, her diamond would probably suspect she was defective if she reacted to every slight as she did Yellow’s. In private, the two never talked about it, aside from the occasional joke on Blue’s part about something Yellow said. In response Yellow would kiss her and whisper, “Next time, don’t yell so loud.” She was especially careful, never stepping on a higher ranking gem’s toes, always so careful and calm about the diamonds.

She seemed scared about what would happen if they made a mistake. But there was something so bizarre about how she acted that Blue was often pushed to remind the yellow gem of her rank. All of the dramatics just made them look more suspicious, yet at the same time, the diamonds weren’t looking too closely.

But it made sense. She worked so hard to get where she was, overcompensating maybe for how much she and Blue desperately needed to get out. Being a stereotypical yellow gem worked, especially if it helped to conceal that she and Blue were together, much less... Close. That’s what it was, surely.  
  
And right now, Blue Zircon staring into Yellow’s eyes, it was worth it. They were warm, they were safe, Yellow was mouthing something to her…

“What?” 

“I love you. Dork.” She smiled before softly kissing the tip of Blue’s nose. When they first met, Yellow would call her stuff like that all the time. Other gems might stick to “clod,” a suitable and rather all-encompassing standard, but Yellow practically invented insults for Blue. Now it was more complicated, more showy, but there was always a hint of affection to be found under her words. It was complicated… Yellow was pretty complicated sometimes.

She grinned, interlacing her fingers with Blue’s.

Blue closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure how Yellow would take a conversation like the one brewing in her head. “Yellow… do you think we’re defective?” She heard a noise, a mix of distaste and surprise, but went on. “Like, most gems just do their thing, right? Their job? And it’s for their diamond. But we, we think too much. We feel...” She looked up. Yellow’s eyes were wet, but she was smiling.

“That’s, stars Blue, that’s the most _you_ thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

Blue gave her a slightly pleading look, and Yellow sighed.

“Yeah, obviously. Zircons are not great gems for the diamonds. And, well, they’re not great for us. You’re still a pretty new gem, but I’ve seen… I’ve seen tens of us shattered. And we’re not common, Blue.”

Yellow put a palm on her forehead, and Blue tightened her grip on the hand she had left. “We’re not like most gems. As far as I know. No Zircon is truly devoted to their diamond; we just want to do what’s right.” She smiled, her eyes averted from Blue’s. “Except me, I guess.”

“You’re just keeping yourself safe. Us safe,” Blue whispered.

“Sure…” Yellow said. She looked at Blue again. “You know I’m just selfish, though.”

Blue made a face, but took the moment to pull a tablet out from her monocle. “Why were they shattered?”

Yellow shifted. “What?”

“The zircons. It really is bizarre to imagine them wanting to get rid of us, Yellow.” Yellow sat up slightly, casually examining the text Blue was scrolling through.

“Well, it was different then. The diamonds... wanted us to understand where we stood. And we were shit at conformity. We’re not like rubies, pearls, or quartzes. We’re not meant to get along with each other or take orders.” She took a steadying breath. “But they were rough on everyone, really. It was just… Scary, I guess, gems shattering left and right. It was impossible to try to befriend anyone.

“By the way, you won’t find anything on them.” Blue looked at her Yellow, the question in her eyes. “Insubordination.” Yellow’s eyes darkened slightly, but she kept her grip on Blue’s hand. It was once a common enough offense, Blue had heard, that at one point it was not often documented.

The creation of gems, always, always recorded. Their reason for shattering or accidental destruction as well. But there were always a few unaccounted deaths, a relatively small number but frustratingly impossible to learn more about…

“I was close with one, a defense Zircon like you. I was newly-formed, basically, and she was a few centuries my superior. I was ready to stage a rebellion after they gave me awful case after another… prosecutors are just tools of the diamonds, really… I mean, you know… she told me to shut up about it, pretend it was okay and that I was okay with it all. The diamonds are everything.” She took a shaky breath. “She told me, all the time, she had seen good Zircons shattered just for saying things, thinking things even, if Pink was involved.

“Then she was assigned to a case… it was awful. Defending some rutile who didn’t kill an organic fast enough. The thing talked to her. They’re smart, Blue, I don’t know the details, but the fucking rutile tried to protect it and a few others. This was before quartzes poofed gems at the slighted sign of that kind of nonsense. And my zircon… she got carried away in making her case. Questioned the purpose of colonization.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Yeah, they don’t want that written down,” Yellow said, smiling bitterly. Then her expression shifted. “They shattered her in the courtroom. Blue Diamond did it, the other zircon told me. I never saw her shards.” 

Blue reached to grab at Yellow’s face, barely having to pry her hand off, but not really getting the other gem’s attention. “I’m so sorry, Yellow. You never told me…”

Yellow shook her head slightly, saying, “You didn’t need to know, angel. It’s better now. You could try to shatter a diamond, pretty much, and they’d still stage you a trial.” She laughed dryly, then Yellow’s hands around hers reminded her of something. “But… be careful. You don’t want them to hate you, and I’m so scared you’d… you’d forget who you are.” 

“What do you mean?” Blue’s voice was soft.  
  
“You know, a zircon. You’re theirs and neither of us will ever be able to do anything about that.”

They sat in silence for a couple moments, then Blue let go of Yellow’s hands and sat up. “That’s not entirely true.” She smiled. “What was it you told me, centuries ago? Something precious.”

Yellow stared at her, confused, but the expression on Blue’s face was enough to make her blush slightly. “What?”

“You know…” Blue said, her gem glowing, “You like being able to control when someone else has you? You like having the power to not have power, to say who gets to have it?” 

The yellow gem smiled a bit. “At least I’m not so straightforward that I just wanna be the one to own another gem.”

“I’m a simple rock, what can I say?” Blue blushed a little. Yellow smiled at the other zircon, but looked down at her hands, thinking for a while. 

Then, looking up, she asked, “Can I just look at you?” 

“Y-Yeah, of course.” Blue phased away her clothes. This happened every now and then, Yellow would just stare at her. And say nice things. It was weird, but it wasn’t bad. Yellow really seemed to enjoy it, though.  
  
She didn’t know why.  
  
Well, she did. _Fuck_.   
  
It was obvious.

“Yellow…” The zircon looked up, her fingers halted their tracing of Blue’s sternum. “Fuck, Yellow…

“What court was she?”

“…Blue.” Yellow looked concerned at Blue Zircon’s expression. “But it’s not… you’re _nothing_ like her! I-“ her voice cracked, there were so many ways it wasn’t the same, she made lists sometimes to remind herself “-I never meant to- to…” She stared at Blue, panicking. “She never really touched me. Not like you.” 

Yellow shook her head, her face scrunched up. “It’s not that… I don’t _care!_ I just- what am I to you?”

“You know. You’re everything, Blue. She looked like you, a little, and it meant so much when she talked to me. She was always looking out for me…. Put her hand on my back in the hallway, congratulate me on a case. She kept me safe… It’s different, I mean… You make me feel so safe, Blue, but you’re so much more.”

Blue Zircon closed her eyes. Yellow tried again. “Blue, you… you love me. Right?”

“Of course.” 

Yellow smiled, but whispered, “She didn’t even like me. She just wanted to protect me.” She held one of Blue’s hands with both of her. “She was so scared of being shattered. But you’re so… you risk so much… for _me_ … and I’m just… just a f-fucking tool for them…” Blue grabbed her, the other gem was shaking silently. “Blue, I’ve killed so many gems for doing _nothing,_ for doing what we’re doing, I mean, it’s not _nothing_ , I could lose you.”

There was silence. Then Blue pulled Yellow close and said, “We could lose everything, and there’s nothing we can do to stop that. Gems come and go, it’s what we have now that matters.” She pulled back slightly to look at Yellow’s face. “I have you, we have each other. Just try to… I don’t know, distract yourself? and be happy.”  
  
“I- I can’t,” Yellow whispered. “I just want it to be over, Blue.” Blue was squeezing her, almost enough to begin to strain at her physical form. “I’m so scared sometimes… that if I don’t think hard enough… I don’t know, I’ll be imagining you as her. I never do! But what if… Stars, you’re similar… and you’re everything I wished she would be for me.”

They held each other for a few more moments, then Blue let out a sob.

“Nonono-“  
  
“What the _fuck_ , Yellow?! You can’t just throw something like this at me all of a sudden. H-how long has it been…? I can’t- I can’t help you with this!”  
  
“I-I’m not asking you to do anything! I’m sorry, Blue, I’m so sorry…”

Yellow screamed at herself internally. Blue Zircon was sobbing, her hands still resting on her partner but her body limp. “Yellow, I don’t want… I don’t want this.” Yellow leaned closer to her, staring at her helplessly. “I thought you loved me. I thought you loved me!”

 _Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck_.  
  
Blue wouldn’t stop crying, and Yellow gently put her head on the other zircon’s chest and looked up at her while she cried. “I do. You know I do, Blue. You’re everything. I wouldn’t be- I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have you.” Blue made a little gulpy noise and laughed, almost.  
  
“That’s worse, Yellow.”  
  
“I know I can’t say stuff like that,” Yellow said softly, closing her eyes against Blue’s chest as she felt her start to shakily rub her back. “But it’s true. Who knows how I’d have gotten shattered, but it was all I wanted. Right until I met you… I was like a different gem.”

“You were so mean to me.”  
  
“It was fun. I’m meaner now.”  
  
“Yeah, but…” Blue moved her hands to cup Yellow’s face. “I know you don’t mean it.” 

She squished Yellow’s cheeks, and Yellow said, “It was so cute to see how you reacted to little comments. Like your fucked up cravat. You were so self-conscious that it wasn’t a diamond after I pointed it out.”

“Not really,” Blue said, smiling. She looked tired, but happy, at least. “I didn’t really get why you were saying that for a while, I didn’t get any of the things you pointed out about me.”

Yellow averted her eyes slightly. “It was all stuff I like about you.”  
  
Blue laughed, then let go of Yellow, sitting back. “I guess I kinda… relate to how you feel. I mean, I was a new gem then. But I’ve always felt like there was no reason to let myself get shattered as long as I had you around.”

“Good,” Yellow said. “They can’t shatter you, Blue.”

“Yeah… I know.” Blue kissed Yellow, long and deep. “I’ll stay safe for you.” She pushed Yellow down and phased away her clothes in a flash. 

The gem stared up at her before phasing away her clothes, her face and stomach feeling warm. “What do you want?”

Blue palmed at her chest and bit her neck. She pressed her mouth into Yellow’s jaw before saying softly, “It’s about you.”

“I just wanna make you feel good, Blue…”  
  
“You already do,” Blue said, softening her grip on Yellow’s chest when she looked at her. “You know that, right?” Yellow made a very quiet noise while Blue traced her fingers down her chest and stared into her eyes. “I love touching you. It is so nice to get to make you feel good, it’s never a burden. You act like I’d hate to hear your voice while we’re fucking, that just because I’m not always looking at your face I don’t want to know if I’m doing a good job-“ she cut herself off suddenly. “I like hearing it, I mean. From you.”  
  
She sighed, then Blue pushed a finger into Yellow’s hole. “B-Blue…” Yellow said. “You know you’re perfect. Everything you do, I love it.” Blue had an easy time adding a second finger and kept eye contact, her face soft. “I thought you knew how much I love every- _ah!”_

Blue was fucking her in earnest now. Their bodies nearly touching, she pumped two fingers in and out of Yellow’s cunt and stared her in the eye. “I like hearing, Yellow.”

“It-it feels really good.” Yellow’s eyes were filled with tears again. “B- Blue… I love being yours… everything you do…” she gasped when the other zircon pulled her fingers out roughly and phased herself a cock.  

“Suck,” Blue said softly, and Yellow scrambled over to lay kisses on her dick and inhale her scent before looking up and taking the head in her mouth. “Good girl.”  
  
Yellow carefully took more, closing her eyes. It felt so good to be here, with Blue’s hands pressing down on her head, her voice whispering sweet things.  
  
Still, Blue wanted to prove herself, with Yellow licking and sucking her cock and staring her like she was the only thing in the universe that mattered. _I can’t believe this really makes her happy_ , Blue thought. Well, nothing seemed to, but this was the last thing she imagined Yellow would want from her, from their first interaction to the first time the gem seemed genuinely interested in her body. And her as a person. And this was the way she showed it, holy fuck.

It felt good, but it also felt unethical. Blue pulled Yellow’s head back, her cock popping out of the seated gem’s mouth with a pop. “You like this, right?”  
  
“Of course,” Yellow said, looking up at Blue. “I get to make you feel good! I- I matter to you.”  
  
Blue shifted a bit. Her crotch was starting to ache, and her head was getting foggy again. _Who am I to her?_ she thought. And of course, _But does it even matter?_

Maybe it didn’t. They both liked this, and Yellow was staring at her genitals again, looking needy.  
  
“P-please, can I?” she breathed, and Blue shivered at the sensation of the hot air on her dick. She nodded, and Yellow wrapped her mouth around her shaft. Blue pressed her palm into her left eye and pushed Yellow down with her free hand.  
  
It felt so good. It always felt good to be with her. To feel powerful and loved.  
  
It didn’t matter if everything was a sham, really. They were just some zircons on Homeworld, all of this was a just a glitch.  
  
But Yellow looked so beautiful, and she looked pretty happy like this.

 And, well. It felt so good. Especially now.  
__  
Gems aren’t supposed to love each other. Zircons aren’t supposed to love.  
  
_But look at her face._ Blue jerked her hips at the flush on Yellow’s face, her peaceful, blissed out expression. _Can’t we just love each other? Can’t this be love?_

She felt a familiar throbbing within her and tightened her grip on Yellow’s hair, her hips twitching. She was so far down the prosecutor’s throat that the only sensation on her cock was the warm pressure Yellow was putting on her genitals, maybe the only thing in the world holding her together in that moment.  
  
“Yellow, I’m gonna-” she managed as Yellow’s throat responded to another one of her twitches and she released.  
  
“ _Fuck,_ ” Blue breathed. Yellow opened her eyes, staring up at her almost reverently, swallowing in a rather unsubtle way. They carefully pulled apart from each other, and Blue sank to the ground and held Yellow carefully.  
 

Her body was limp, but Blue learned back a bit to look at Yellow’s face. “You did really good,” she said. Yellow’s eyes were glazed over. “Kiss me, baby.” 

Maybe it didn’t matter. Kissing her was better than anything, especially with the taste of Blue’s cum in Yellow’s mouth.  
  
When they pulled apart, Yellow stared at Blue before saying softly, “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry… I wish I could have told you earlier. I didn’t want it to hurt you.”  
  
“You could never hurt me,” Blue reassured her, “not really.” Her voice was gentle, but she was holding Yellow just as hard as ever. “I’m just happy you’re mine.”

\--

Yellow hated the moments after trials. Immediately after, win or lose, she would be alone. It always happened like this, it was normal, but it fucking sucked.  
  
She didn’t need to feel pride or comfort when she won. And she didn’t. No one was safe. Her chamber was dimly lit, and she had files for her upcoming trials to review. And she wasn’t safe. She hadn’t felt safe ever, but increasingly, she was afraid and empty, simultaneously, when thinking about Homworld.   
  
She was a zircon. None of this mattered.  
  
It kind of mattered, if she got to feel good. Just for a little bit. And it felt so good to just see Blue. And be useful to her. Or just- Yellow jumped slightly (she wasn’t on her game after a long day) as a notification arrived on her monocle- _oh_. Blue was always eerily in synch with Yellow.

Today was just a particularly hard day, Yellow reflected. The kind of day where she could just cuddle up to Blue, kiss her nose, and sit with her in silence before the two of them got to work, and it would feel okay for just a little bit, the soft presence of the defense attorney enough to keep the illusion of her being safe.  
  
And sometimes it was more. Yellow hurried along the hallways to the familiar location. It felt like Blue needed her, like she really wanted her. Like Yellow mattered, like she was irreplaceable even though she was just a zircon, just another gem. No matter her rank, or her accomplishments… but Blue somehow could find value in her. It meant the world. and she liked it when Blue took it further, showed Yellow she belonged to her. Like tonight, maybe?  
  
She tried not to hope too much, but she couldn’t help the creeping arousal she always felt when Blue wanted her. Being summoned to her room meant something, even if they barely touched or talked. She mattered, in those moments, to a gem more beautiful and kind and intelligent than she could ever hope to be.  
  
Yellow was almost at the chamber, she knew they keycode to enter by heart and wasn’t even embarrassed anymore by the moistness between her thighs anymore. Blue didn’t care, though with the right words Yellow could be convinced she was reprehensible for wanting another gem like this. She sighed, her heart warm.  
  
Kind of like before they started. It was always in the back of her mind, but for the most part… everything about this was perfect. And her, too. Yellow was good when Blue told her she was. Definitely!  
  
The door slid open and Yellow quickly stepped in. Blue didn’t even look up, she was hunched over, examining old case files.  
  
“Blue?” Yellow asked, somewhat uncertain. Something was off. Was she- Blue slammed the tablets down suddenly, and all five disappeared quickly.  
  
“Sorry,” she said, her voice oddly soft. “I was just… I wanted to see if I could find more, Yellow.”

Yellow stared at her, not sure if she should walk closer. Blue turned around at looked at her. Her posture was weird, for lack of a better word. She looked tense.

“I did find something on her. Your other blue zircon.” Yellow blinked, suddenly dizzy. Her knees were weak, and there was something hard in Blue’s eyes. Blue stood up quickly. “Kneel, Yellow.” Yellow sank to her knees, staring up at Blue.  
  
Blue touched her gem own gem, pressing lightly with her fingertips. “I guess you were right to be afraid of passion. But I know better than you.” Her hand went to her nose, then she dropped it and stepped toward Yellow. _What does she want? What is she going to do?_ Yellow couldn’t figure it out, she had read those files, it was all as she told Blue. But Blue looked terrifying now, and shaken, almost. 

“The way gems shatter,” Blue said, her voice low, “I’m surprised we’re alive.” She kicked Yellow in the stomach, hard, and Yellow let out a surprised yelp.  
  
She wanted to ask- no, beg- for clarification, some indication of what was wrong, as she kept her head up and looked up at Blue. She didn’t dare open her mouth, there were times like this and- her train of thought was interrupted by another kick, and she doubled in over in pain.  
  
“You love me.” _Yes?_ Yellow looked up at Blue, who wasn’t smiling. Her heart was racing and her body was so warm that she felt like the other gem had to see. “I bet this is turning you on, Yellow. You’re hopeless.” Blue scowled at her, grabbing Yellow’s hair and pulling her head back so she could stare at her face.  
  
Yellow had probably soaked through her appearance modifiers at his point, but this didn’t seem like the kind of situation where she should phase them off.  
  
She whimpered as Blue jerked her head back more, looking down and straight into her eyes. “Wh- What happened Blue? You’re scaring me..”  
  
“I could never,” Blue said, and it was true. She kneeled by Yellow and already, Yellow’s chest felt warm, her head light and airy. But then Blue’s grip on her hair tightened again and she jerked Yellow’s head to the side, and Yellow’s heart jumped and seized up in fear, her brain screaming in terror at the way her flesh was exposed.

Blue bit Yellow’s neck, hard, and only clamped down harder through Yellow's deep moans, before quickly pulling back to stare at her.  
  
“I bet you didn’t even look at the cases she took.” 

Yellow gulped, flinching when Blue’s free hand met her jaw. It wasn’t pain, Blue’s hands on her head. She was holding her. That was good, that was safe.  
  
But it scared her so much that this be brought up… and Blue was looking at her like she expected an answer. She didn’t give her time to answer before she said, “It does hurt, you fucking piece of shit. She did everything right and died, so you're fucking me instead.” She let go of Yellow’s head, and the gem basically collapsed.  
  
Fuck, she was so turned on.

“You loved her, Yellow. She won almost every case she ever had.” Yellow stared at Blue’s cravat, and felt Blue’s eyes on her.  
  
“Did you know that, Yellow?”  
  
She nodded, slowly, and Blue finally put her hands on her again. On her shoulders. They felt… solid. Maybe a bit heavy.  
  
“She only lost some of her cases. You know which ones?”  
  
Yellow was sore.

Her head hurt.

Maybe it was time for this to be over.  
  
“I asked you a question, Yellow,” Blue said, stern now, and her hands tightened on Yellow’s shoulders.  
  
“Fusions… romance… shit like that…” Yellow said. She gasped when Blue brought a hand to the fresh bite on her neck and applied pressure.  
  
Blue’s face, now that she was finally looking at it, was terrifying. She would never look like this in public, around other gems or in court. Yellow tried to look soft for her. She was still Blue, still pretty and perfect and everything good in life.  
  
But now she knew everything.  
  
Maybe she was missing bits, the stuff she needed to know. Like that Blue was more important than any other gem. But she knew that, right? Yellow looked up, Blue’s face was so hard, it felt foreign and it _hurt_. She couldn’t tell how bad this was, if Blue was hurt, if she was processing this or if it was her gut reaction to tell her partner like this. That she knew. That they were both hurting.  
  
It couldn’t be a “you fucked up.” It wasn’t anger. Blue was feeling emotions that were hard to deal with, sure. But it was worse for Yellow, it always was, so Blue had to do this, had to be strong, had to show her, had to externalize it as much as wasn’t too painful. It didn’t matter. She couldn’t break down in front of Yellow, the closest thing to what she privately needed was breaking down on her. The rest she could delegate to the public. Acting weak. Acting scared, and frustrated. It was acting to Yellow, and that was good.  
  
Blue knew what Yellow needed, she always did. She could see the prosecutor enjoying this. Maybe it was fucked up, but Blue enjoyed it too.

Her hand was wrapped around Yellow’s throat, above her cravat. Gems didn’t need to breathe, but they knew how to hurt.  
  
Blue stared at Yellow as her fingers tightened. “No wonder she wouldn’t fuck you.” Yellow whimpered and the pressure on her neck increased. “Sometimes I wonder why I do. You’re practically useless.” Her free hand left Yellow’s shoulders, and Blue slipped a hand under Yellow’s vest to grope her chest. Blue squeezed one of nipples through the fabric of Yellow’s undersuit, and Yellow let out a shuddering breath.  
  
Everything hurt, and so much. But Blue was touching her. And Yellow knew she was useful, useful to Blue, or Blue wouldn’t want her at all.  
  
She managed to gasp, “Please,” and Blue scowled at her, increasing the pressure on everything _. Fuck._

 _Fuck._ “You don’t get to tell me how to touch you,” Blue said. “And you’re not getting me off today either.” Yellow stared at her pleadingly.  
  
“Blue, _please_ -” The hand on her neck released quickly and Blue slapped her across the face. Yellow let out a loud noise, and Blue sighed at it.  
  
“Fuck, I love you,” she said quietly.  
  
“I love _you_ ,” Yellow said, and Blue slapped her again. 

Blue’s face was flushed, and she leaned close to Yellow. The hand on Yellow’s chest was curled into a fist, supporting her shaking body. Blue’s breath was hot on her face. “Don’t say that.”  
  
Yellow didn’t realize she had been crying, but became uncomfortably aware as she let out a sob and felt tears on her face.  
  
“Just... Don’t say it _now_ , Yellow.” Blue surveyed her as she extracted her hand; the gem was a mess, and Blue had to remind herself that this was a good thing. “You look pretty when you cry, baby.” She never got to do as much as she planned to. Yellow looked up.  
  
“Can I- Can I get off, Blue?”  
  
“You can touch yourself.” Staring up at Blue, Yellow slowly moved her hands to her crotch, before she palmed at herself. It was hard not to seem desperate, but then again, Blue knew she was. Yellow fingers rubbed at her damp clothes and gritted her teeth. She wanted Blue to touch her, but Blue seemed happy to watch her. She was calm, her pupils the biggest indication of how much she loved this.  
  
Yellow’s eyes closed, and she let out a soft moan. Blue put a hand on her shoulder. “Keep your clothes on,” she instructed, and Yellow nodded.

It wouldn’t be long just like this, anyway. But stars, she wanted to be fucked. Blue’s gem wasn’t even glowing, but Yellow knew she liked seeing this kind of shit.  
  
And that was enough for her. Just thinking about it.  
  
And it was too much for her when Blue whispered, “You’re fucking beautiful, Yellow.”  
  
Clumsily rubbing at herself, Yellow whimpered, her body shaking. She was sore at this point, but it all felt so _good_ and when she looked up at Blue, her chest tightened at the sight of Blue’s face. It had softened somewhat; she looked tired. But sweet. She always did. 

“Come for me, sweetheart,” Blue said, her voice gently. Yellow did, making a rather undignified noise, panting into Blue’s cravat with her hand pressed into her crotch. “Good,” Blue said, putting her other hand on Yellow’s back. “Good girl.”

 _You’re so good, why are you so good,_ Yellow thought, gasping and clutching at Blue with her free hand. She was shaking.  
  
“T-thank you, Blue.” Blue smiled at her.  
  
“You don’t need to say shit like that.”  
  
“I’m sorry, again… I’m so sorry.”  
  
There was a pause. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this,” Blue said, “but at least we have each other.”

 _And it’s almost like I’m not afraid. Holding you._ Blue shut her eyes. There was something pretty grounding about being able to do _this_ for someone else. For sure.

Yellow shifted, finally moving her hand away and grabbing onto Blue more firmly. “I’m so glad I’m yours. Please, let’s keep it like this.” Her arms tightened around Blue, who was hugging her back. “Forever, please.”  

\--

When she reformed, Blue Zircon was in a dim, doorless room, alone except for one familiar looking yellow gemstone. She scrambled over to the gem, shaking and sweating slightly, her fingers grazing it before it began to glow and levitate. 

Clenching her teeth, Blue cast her eyes downward as the various incarnations of her partner flashed above her. When she landed on all fours, shaking, Yellow let out a strangled, frustrated sob. Looking up, the terror in her eyes was quickly replaced by the soft but intense look that Blue had become accustomed to.

“Blue!” then: "They aren't shattering us?" she whispered.

Blue shook her head, then reconsidered. "I don't know."

The other zircon just stared. She didn’t ask anything of Blue for several minutes, just sat on the ground and looked at her.

“We’ll get out of this,” Yellow said, almost a question. 

Blue reached out for Yellow, and Yellow climbed into her lap. Blue wrapped her arms around her. “Of course, baby. We’ll be okay,” she breathed into Yellow, her fingers finding their way under her cravat. She dug into Yellow’s neck, and the pressure made Yellow gasp a little. She buried her head into Blue’s shoulder, and Blue rested her head on the other gem. “We have each other.”

There were safe in that moment, surely. Blue kissed Yellow’s forehead and let out a shallow breath.  
  
Yellow looked up. “You did the right thing, you always do.” Blue didn’t want her to see how scared she was, she knew she needed to be strong for Yellow. She dug into her neck again. 

 _You don’t have to be the one to tell me,_ Blue thought, fighting back tears.

This was the worst thing that could have possibly happened, and she couldn’t deal with Yellow crying right now, or worse, seeing her cry. “Just be quiet…” She held the other gem tightly. _I’m here_ could never be enough, but it was all she could think with Yellow in her arms. And it wasn’t much.

**Author's Note:**

> Whew... I'll do better next time.


End file.
